pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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