Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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