My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
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