hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
