Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Randomize
