love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
