4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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