Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
