Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
i used baking grease as lip gloss
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
