He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
