who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Randomize
