...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
