I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
