when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
