I think my fart just growled at me.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
