WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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