I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Randomize
