he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
