I CAN MOONWALK!
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
We had sex on a dog bed..
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
I love you.
Bad choice
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
