Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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