Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Randomize
