Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
worst night to have a conscience
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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