K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
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