Did you just see the Batmobile???
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
