Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize