when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
