his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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