Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Randomize
