guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
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