Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
