Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
