I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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