Where did you get a picture of my penis
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
where are my eyebrows?
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize