That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
