so that wasnt chicken after all
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
