singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
