We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize