The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
