do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
