I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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