Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
