Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
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