no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
