obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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