i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I wish life had little blips of pornography
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
