I have demons in me.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
