Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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