No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
