The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Randomize
