i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
