She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize
