Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
