Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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