some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize