I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
