He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
