Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
