East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
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