I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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