But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Randomize
