Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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