thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
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