Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
