He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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