Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Randomize
