She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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