you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
